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Albanian wife expectations, too much to handle?
Husbands in Albania are expected to support their families financially.
“If Albanian women aren’t respected, they’re not going to be very happy,” said Naim Frashëri University professor Xhemile Feratovi.
“There is no compromise here.” While this might sound old-fashioned to some, it is still a shared value among many Albanian women.
In Albania, it’s not uncommon for a man to provide for the needs of his family before tending to his own.
“Being able to take care of a woman and children is expected from a man,” said Frashëri.
This means that men need to be able to provide food, shelter, financial security and emotional support for their families.
While it’s not required, many women take on the role of housewife.
“A man can be seen as weak if he cannot provide for his immediate family,” said Frashëri.
Even though Albania has experienced rapid industrialization over the past few decades, many Albanian men still prefer to make a living through physical labor, such as farming and construction.
Being successful in Albania is about more than money and material possessions; it also means being respectful to those around you.
“It’s not just about how much money you have but presenting yourself as a person who holds themselves with dignity,” said Frashëri.
While many Albanian women expect their husbands to financially support their families, they also want their spouses to be supportive in other ways.
The husband should help with house chores and children when possible.
“A man who is willing to clean dishes or take care of the children is seen as more attractive,” said Frashëri.
Although the idea of a man being responsible for his family is still a popular value, not all Albanian men embrace this cultural norm.
Many young couples are growing accustomed to both working and sharing household duties.
Traditional gender roles are becoming more flexible in Albania, even if they can be hard to shake.
An Albanian marrying a Non-Albanian.
For a non-Albanian marrying an Albanian, there are a few things you should consider before “tying the knot.
First, you need to know you will have a hard time finding an apartment. Even if your Albanian is fluent in English and perhaps some other language, it can be difficult to find anyone who will rent to you.
Most people prefer the company of their own people. If they are young, then you probably won’t have any problem getting them to rent to you, but most landlords are not young.
So if they want an Albanian for a tenant, they will probably get one no matter what language they speak.
If you want an apartment, be persistent. If it’s not in the center of town where everything is at, consider yourself lucky.
One thing that might help with this is to become friends with your Albanian friend’s family.
Hopefully they have relatives who own businesses in the area you want to live in, and if your spouse wants to be close to his/her relatives, then you might have a chance.
The next thing you should consider is your status in the family. When you marry an Albanian, unless you are extremely lucky, your spouse’s family will not accept you, at least initially.
They still see themselves as the boss of their kids even when they are married and have children of their own.
If there is a problem with one of their kids (usually that means if they are not married yet), they tend to think the problem is with the spouse.
The one who is having the problem will have a much harder time being heard by their parents when you are around compared to when you are not there.
You are seen as part of their family, so any objections they may have to your views or decisions might as well be invalid.
If your spouse is a woman, then some of the issues you have with her family might be even more complicated as they may think she is not being a “good Albanian wife”. But sometimes it can work out.
If there are no problems, life will go on as usual, and you’ll adjust to their ways just like they will adjust to yours.
You might still be seen as an outsider, but you’ll get used to it. At least you can’t go wrong with the food.
Albanian marriage culture.
Albanian weddings are known to be inspirational and stylish affairs with a little bit of everything on the agenda.
From traditional rituals to lavish receptions where anything goes. But what is it really like to plan and attend a huge Albanian wedding?
Most of the weddings I’ve been too, have been nothing more than just an invitation for friends & family to come together, watch you walk down the aisle and eat food.
Somehow in Albania that’s not enough! And apparently it’s not just your average wedding either.
A bad wedding is one where the bride’s family doesn’t have enough money to pay for food or drink or even a DJ, but no one cares.
A good wedding is when there are at least 1000+ guests invited and has the full package of entertainment.
And of course, it doesn’t hurt if some famous singers happen to be playing either!
The wedding is considered a success primarily because of the number of guests invited. It’s not how well you celebrate or make your guests feel, but about bragging rights and who attended the party.
And more importantly, everyone needs to know what happened after! This immediately creates an urge for your guests to send their friends photos & videos of the wedding from their smartphones.
The traditional Albanian wedding is a 3 day event including a huge party on the final day, which is by far the most important.
Weddings in Albania start with a civil ceremony where you sign papers and exchange rings to make it legal, followed by a religious one where you say your vows.
Then comes the reception where everyone eats, drinks and dances into the early hours. It’s not just about getting married, it’s all about having fun after too!
If you’re lucky enough to be invited to an Albanian wedding in Albania, here are some Do’s & Don’ts:
Do arrive on time or else you will be considered as showing a lack of appreciation for your friend who’s getting married. Being late is cool though, but not too late!
Don’t arrive empty handed – Albanians will think you have no respect for the bride & groom if you don’t bring anything with you. Flowers and a bottle of wine are a must!
Don’t expect to drink as much as you want – Albanians will take full advantage of you and try to get you wasted.
You’ll be expected to drink Raki with them, which is their national alcoholic beverage that’s definitely not for everyone.
…And the biggest Do & Don’t of all:
Do bring a gift! Your Albanian hosts really appreciate a gift that will be enjoyed by everyone attending – a cake or a bottle of liquor (not wine).
The Albanian bride’s family often spends huge amounts buying alcohol for the wedding day, so expect this as your ‘thank you’!
Albanian mentality and relationships.
Many of us have had some exposure to Albanian culture. We’ve all heard of the honor killings, the grudges, and feuds. But there’s so much more to it than that…
Albanians take pride in their country, and always want anyone around them to know it. They’re not afraid to show off their Albanianness.
They love to drink and socialize, and they’re very family-oriented. While they can be very loud and enthusiastic, this is also their way of showing love to their friends and family.
They’re very old-fashioned when it comes to gender roles. Men are considered the leaders, while women are expected to either stay at home or work only in fields that do not contradict traditional female roles.
In regards to men and women relationships , they’re not as progressive as we are here. It’s extremely rare to see men and women hug or show affection for each other in public (not including couples, of course).
While this is changing with younger generations, it’s still very much expected that men and women keep their distance from one another until they’re married.
This isn’t because of the lack of attraction, but because of social pressure. You’ll see young people holding hands or hugging in public, but that’s only after they’re engaged or already married.
Any criticism is taken very personally by Albanians. They take it upon themselves to read into every little thing their friends say, and misinterpret it as an attack on their character.
They’re very sensitive, and will even take things personally when no offense is intended.
Even if you mean well by something you say, it could be taken as criticism and make your relationship awkward or tense with them.
To Albanians, family always comes first, and I do mean always . Your boyfriend/girlfriend will likely get put on the backburner if they’re not meeting your family’s expectations – which is most likely high and unfair.
Saying “I’m sorry, I can’t see you today because my mom/dad is coming into town” is a very normal thing to say.
Albanian people are highly intelligent and well-educated. You will rarely see an uneducated or unintelligent Albanian, especially in the city.
They’re also very proud of their history and culture. As a result, they do not like authority figures such as police officers and teachers telling them what to do.
They would rather break the rules than give up any power.
As you can see, Albanian culture is very different from Western culture. We can’t really say it’s better or worse…it just is what it is!
And now that you know more about them, you can impress your Albanian friends with your knowledge.
The next time there’s an opportunity to study up on their cultural norms, do it! And remember, if you ever find yourself in the Balkans, make sure to stop by Albania – where life is always better.
Albanian Wife Expectations, conclusions.
It’s important to be aware of Albanian wife expectations before marrying an Albanian woman. If you are not prepared to fulfill her expectations, she may become unhappy and even leave you.
In general, Albanian women have high standards for their husbands and expect them to be providers, protectors, and companions.
By understanding these expectations going into the marriage, you can avoid potential problems and build a stronger relationship with your wife that will last a lifetime.